Telling others about any long-term medical condition can be very difficult. Not knowing how others will react can cause an enormous amount of concern. Add to this equation the fact that hepatitis C infection is often associated with stigma and discrimination and the anxiety around disclosing your diagnosis to others is likely to escalate.
Primarily there are three things you should consider before disclosing to another person.
- the need to protect yourself,
- the need to protect others
- the support you may or may not gain from others by disclosing.
Before deciding to tell someone else it may help to consider a number of questions that may help you to focus on whether disclosure is necessary or helpful:
WHY DO YOU WANT THIS PERSON TO KNOW?
Are you concerned about transmission of the virus to the person? For example maybe the person is your current or past sexual partner or someone you have shared a risky behaviour with, in which case you may feel you have an obligation to tell the person. For further information on telling sexual partners click here
Maybe the person has been worried about your health and you feel they deserve an explanation so that they know what they are dealing. Maybe you feel the person will be able to provide you with support now and in the future. Maybe you simply need to tell someone. This is about protecting others.
Maybe you are considering telling your employer. This may or may not be necessary or beneficial. For further information on telling people at work click here
WHAT RESPONSE DO YOU EXPECT TO GET FROM THIS PERSON?
This is an important factor to consider. Remember you have no control regarding how others respond to your news, some responses will be positive, but they may also be negative. Ask yourself are you ready for either response? If you are coping well with your condition and feel you want to tell others, you may decide that regardless of their reaction it is the right thing to do. Alternatively, you may be very unsure how you feel yourself about your condition and are seeking emotional support - it may be wise to consider whether you feel strong enough to deal with any negative responses. This is about protecting yourself.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GAIN FROM TELLING THIS PERSON?
Ideally, the disclosure of your diagnosis to someone else will be beneficial to you. You may feel these potential benefits will include sharing the burden, getting more support or understanding about how you feel and how you may have been behaving, having someone to talk to, having someone to work through problems with etc. Maybe there are practical gains to be had through disclosing to someone else, for example, time off work, reduced domestic chores, financial assistance, practical assistance etc.
If after considering the pros and cons of disclosure, you decide to tell someone you might want to consider when and how to tell that person, this may influence their response to the news.
If you have been unwell for some time, with no explanation, then being told what is wrong with you can be a relief, after all now you know what you are dealing with. Alternatively, your diagnosis may have come as a shock to you and you are having difficulty coming to terms with it. These responses may be similar in the person you are considering telling. They may be relieved, shocked, angry, confused or worried. Considering these responses may lead you to think carefully about when you tell the person; especially if they are likely to look to you for information and support.
HOW DO YOU TELL SOMEONE?
This will of course vary tremendously ,dependent on who you are telling, but it is likely to cause you some concern. By putting a plan together it is likely to make the task easier on both yourself and them. It's possible that it may help to explain how you are feeling about the diagnosis.
How you tell someone and where you tell them may influence their response. Try to think of how you felt when you were told. Was there anything about how, when or where you were told that made it easier to understand and accept or more difficult?
Try to consider a number of ways the person will respond, that way you will be prepared and possibly pre-armed with information or reassurances for them. Try to consider who could be a potential source of support for the person, e.g. close friend or family member or possibly someone involved in your care. Accept that they are likely to have fears and concerns and may need some reassurance. If possible tell the person where they can get more information, or provide them with it, direct them to sources of support and try to be supportive yourself.
Try to give the person time to adjust to the news, and expect them to experience a number of emotions, just the same as you probably did when you were given the news. It may be useful, after you have told them, to set a time, perhaps the next day, when you can both talk over your feelings and concerns.
If you are finding it really difficult to tell the person you may want to consider asking someone involved in your care, e.g. your GP, clinical nurse specialist or consultant to help. Perhaps the person could accompany you to your next consultation, where your diagnosis and what it means could be explained to them.
There is no tried and tested method of successful disclosure, but in general, a planned approach will not only encourage you to consider all the possible outcomes, but will perhaps prepare you for them and encourage you to explore how you can deal with them.
